My sisters and I are...well, lets say a little large and in charge. We got into the horrible habit of calling each other "heifer". For those of you that are either too elite or just a hair too un-edumecated, a heifer is a cow that has not yet given birth, but most importantly noted for the sake of this blog...tis a cow!
Today I sit at home with little to do,an experience that has become rather foreign to me. I did all I could think of doing, being very careful not to do anything significant...it is, however, my day OFF. At first I was ambitious, I thought I would start a two day, eventful Garage Sale (made the signs and everything), then I thought I would just get all the laundry done and put away, but, PLEASE, it's my day OFF! Then I thought I would help write a letter that a caregiver at work really needs in order to purchase a car, (this led me to the computer), but in the end...I began thinking...Have I learned nothing from the hours spent studying the philosophy of Laura Numeroff? I decided I should not, could not tempt fate...after all I know what happens if you give a pig a pancake, if you take a mouse to school, and surely I remember all that happens if you give a moose a muffin! I pondered what the day might hold if I gave the heifer a day off and decided...she would probably want to take a nap. So, naturally, she would dream of Brad Pitt. Then she would wake up to reality and miss Brad, so she would want to watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith or The Mexican. While she was watching the movie, she would get hungry and want a snack. Then, when she finished the snack, she would need a soda. When the movie is over, she would feel guilty for sitting so long so she would be compelled to do some chores. After she finished all the chores, she would be exhausted...And if she feels exhausted, she would want a day off.
Oh, I'm no fool...thanks to Laura Numeroff and her infinite wisdom and insight! I know exactly what I should do....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF ANY SIGNIFICANCE!
With this in mind...Mommymosh, OUT!
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3 comments:
That's right heifer...you take the day OFF! We don't take time for ourselves often enough!
If you don't take time to refuel, you have nothing but fumes to run on eventually!
Okay for real you could write in a newspaper colomn of your own. Maybe even in the funnies!
That WAS hilarious and I enjoyed helping you laugh on your day off during the sister-threesome today! I just love technology so that it's all most like we are all together snorting and laughing!
Well gotta go to bed...minus the Brad Pitt!
Hey, Michelle. Amy directed me to your page and I must say I LOVE the way you write. You are HILARIOUS. You always were, but I think you're even funnier when you write. Let me know when you start you education reform group. I want to be an officer... maybe the parliamentarian or something. I'm teaching 7th grade math this year and I think I'm going a little crazy! Anyway, it sounds like y'all are doing well. Keep writing!
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