Monday, October 16, 2006

Cake...Kite...Country...Wack!

I know we are all to each other strange in our own way, but I am hoping the following frequent and recent experiences are common among us all. I am interested in reassuring myself that this seeming oddity is not an isolated personal dilemma.

I have lately been having quite a few incidents where a very common word or idea will sound or seem foreign and highly unnatural flowing from my lips or through my brain. I have all of my life not been fond of words such as "cake, kite or country". I have always felt these "k" sounds get caught in the back of the throat and would just as soon gag me as roll off of my tongue. Most words in the English language are my confidants; I love them...love to use them, but I don't seem to have any control over when they come to me fluently when required; nor do they seem to lend themselves to the exact meaning for which I intend them. (I'm pretty sure someone just regurgitated a little in his or her mouth after reading that last hokey sentence.) These experiences with our little linguistic friends have occurred throughout my life; only lately, it is at least daily that trivial moments leave my mind spinning with question and uncertainty.

In reviewing Maggie's latest spelling word list, one of my arch-enemies reminded me of our long time struggle. "Country": I find it difficult to believe this word which is the pride of most citizens worldwide, no matter in which of these they may live, is such an unattractive sounding word: harsh, funky and shares meaning with a not-so-esteemed genre of music. I became distracted by the word, consumed by the multiple meanings of the word, and most notedly, confused by my impossibility to utter this word in any manner which deemed it speakable.

Despite my conflict with certain words, what really has begun to concern me is that this feeling of unfamiliarity has bled over to other thoughts and ideas...namely about life. I have found myself pondering while driving to and from work, washing dishes or conducting any other ordinary daily task the purpose of my life, the absolute frailty of human existence, and the unfathomable amount of bunk one faces in a lifetime. I do not find myself really questioning God or the importance of my faith, beliefs and values. I do, however, find myself questioning every day things such as money, the value of material possessions, taxes, and occupations. I find ticker-tape thoughts running across my mind..."Are there really people who make staples? How does one introduce that mom or dad on career day?" And then I begin to reason with my mind..."Well, surely there are machines that actually make the staples, but there must be people who work those machines...Can you retire from such a job?" I then find myself weighing the importance of staples; it is, after all, a very important staple in most of our daily business operations. (Pun was intended!) I think to myself above the chatter of the Kidd Craddock morning show..."Would I give up silk plants entirely to preserve my use of the staple?" Oh! I think it goes without saying...sure there are paper clips, but these are hardly comparable! The paper clip is so easily removed, while the staple has its very own removal device. This conjures a new thought..."Are there REALLY people who make staple removers?"

At this point, I usually force myself to stop the madness...

I am curious to know...Do we all have these thoughts? Does it have anything to do with age? Could it mean I am stressed and my brain is on overload? Or worse, could it mean I don't have enough to occupy my brain in a constructive manner, so my brain is having to make up its own daily activities?

I think Gnarles Barkley recently sang it best...."Who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are...ha, ha, ha....bless your soul! You think you're in control. Well, I think you're CRAZY!" Possibly...but I believe the kind way we say that here in the U S of A is eccentric. And after you read this blog and identify with it, you can very probably consider yourself a member of a new club...we are ECCENTERRIFIC! Right?

2 comments:

AmyG said...

The greatest thing is following the "ticker tape" to its illogical end and trying to remind yourself what lead you to that very end.
At that point you must track your thoughts from point to point to ensure that you indeed are not CRAZY but that there was some sort of logical tie between each and every topic of thought!

I commit this very act each and every day...multiple times! I find myself absorbed in thought then wonder...what made me think of that...let the audit of the ticker tape begin!

Tiffany said...

Hey sis,

I tagged you on my blog back in Jan. check it out under the entry streams in the dessert....