If You Give a Heifer a Day Off

My sisters and I are...well, lets say a little large and in charge. We got into the horrible habit of calling each other "heifer". For those of you that are either too elite or just a hair too un-edumecated, a heifer is a cow that has not yet given birth, but most importantly noted for the sake of this blog...tis a cow!

Today I sit at home with little to do,an experience that has become rather foreign to me. I did all I could think of doing, being very careful not to do anything significant...it is, however, my day OFF. At first I was ambitious, I thought I would start a two day, eventful Garage Sale (made the signs and everything), then I thought I would just get all the laundry done and put away, but, PLEASE, it's my day OFF! Then I thought I would help write a letter that a caregiver at work really needs in order to purchase a car, (this led me to the computer), but in the end...I began thinking...Have I learned nothing from the hours spent studying the philosophy of Laura Numeroff? I decided I should not, could not tempt fate...after all I know what happens if you give a pig a pancake, if you take a mouse to school, and surely I remember all that happens if you give a moose a muffin! I pondered what the day might hold if I gave the heifer a day off and decided...she would probably want to take a nap. So, naturally, she would dream of Brad Pitt. Then she would wake up to reality and miss Brad, so she would want to watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith or The Mexican. While she was watching the movie, she would get hungry and want a snack. Then, when she finished the snack, she would need a soda. When the movie is over, she would feel guilty for sitting so long so she would be compelled to do some chores. After she finished all the chores, she would be exhausted...And if she feels exhausted, she would want a day off.

Oh, I'm no fool...thanks to Laura Numeroff and her infinite wisdom and insight! I know exactly what I should do....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF ANY SIGNIFICANCE!

With this in mind...Mommymosh, OUT!

Go, Gabbie Go!

Last season on "So You Think You Can Dance," we were introduced to the phenomenon that is "Sexy Back". For those of you who do not keep up with pop culture...Justin Timberlake, former Mousekateer (I have no idea how to spell that word...and at this time, I have not the inclination to research the correct spelling.) has a song that plays on all of the top 40 radio stations quite frequently that speaks of "bringing sexy back." Gabbie has adopted this song as her personal anthem since Justin does include her name in the song. (At least, in Gabbie's world he does!) The lyrics she repeats OFTEN are "I'm bringing sexy back, YEAH...and all the boys...that's a fact, YEAH...Go, Gabbie Go!" I'll not take the time to type out what the song REALLY says, but I will say there are a few bleeps along the way, so needless to say, it wasn't exactly meant to be an anthem for a four year old. However, this four year old believes Justin sang the song just for her. (Remember: One Charlotte, One Gabbie...alluding to a previous blog.)

One week ago this song enabled a paradoxical memory for me for which I am eternally grateful ...thanks, Timberlake! Gabbie had pink eye one day last week and went to work with me. We took the vital possessions any girl cannot go a day without: our purse stocked with makeup and lipstick, a backpack with our snack, a coloring book, a change of clothes and our tea party supplies, and of course our white blankie we've had since we were born. Gabbie endured the day like a champ. She even managed to get a little nap in under my desk, but it was not until we were leaving for the day that I was so vividly reminded how precious and hilariously sweet my baby is...all packed up and ready to leave, I saw my little red-headed bunny rolling down the hallway in her wheelchair, backpack connected securely to the back of the wheelchair, purse daintily hanging from the brake handle and white blankie in hand helping to propel the wheels forward while trailing the ground behind...the tune playing from the mouth of the babe..."I'm bringing sexy back, YEAH...and all the boys...and that's a fact, YEAH...Go, Gabbie, Go!" That was an image I'll never forget! I haven't done that laugh, cry thing in a really long time...thanks Gab...keep 'em coming!

Skipping Baths...

It has been quite a while since I last was able to sit and write a little. It is only at the urging of the baby of the family that I take the time now to hack out a few lines. As the end of the girls' first six weeks rapidly approaches, I find myself wondering who made up this wacky schedule for school. I know I am not alone in feeling the crushing pressure to complete assignments sent home for the kids to complete by the next school day; I just this past weekend witnessed my nephew, Jeffrey, spending every available moment working on school work (all the while I was thinking...IT'S the weekend!) Tonight we had to skip the bath to finish the reading and writing assignments for Maggie (a first grader), and we finally called it quits at 10pm as she began to cry about reading about the ducks! It is hard to keep from sending the message that this is fairly ridiculous, as I attempt to not scar her view of education forever, but come on...is all of this work really necessary? These kids spend so many hours of the day learning, do they really need so much homework. I remember when I was teaching, the rule of thumb was to assign about 30 minutes of self-study homework each night and we all had projects for the six weeks that the students would be working on at the same time. Most students were involved in at least one activity or another at school and/or in the community or in their churches. I'm thinking maybe we, as teachers, need to use OUR math skills. Thirty minutes each night times seven classes, plus time spent practicing sports, music, etc., must equal an insanely tiny amount of time spent with family and an extremely stressed out student. And I am certain, judging by my experience, that stressed students do not perform to their potential.

What amazes me is that we are not all geniuses. If our public education doesn't start making more sense to me, I can't help but to think...I could possibly join a group devoted to changing this crazy, chaotic system we painfully accept as education.

Well, it's really late and now that I have assisted Maggie in learning all about bird's nests, ducks and dogs...it's time to go conjure up the agency schedule and do my homework!